The Zaftig Chicks’ Guide to Enjoying Food
by sylvia
I don’t think it’s any surprise that I HEART FOOD, especially since I’ve talked about it here before (and y’know – I’m a fatty). Last night I took some clients out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, and had the most amazing appetizer.
It was one of the specials, and as the waitress described it, I looked around the table, and all of us were drooling. We immediately ordered two, hoping it tasted as wonderful as it sounded:
Baby lobster tail stuffed with goat cheese, wrapped in phyllo dough,…risotto balls….
Ok, honestly – as soon as I heard “goat cheese” and “phyllo”, I didn’t hear anything else. There was a chorus of angels in one ear, and my stomach growling in the other.
The dish did not disappoint. It was unbelievable. I felt like I should have smoked a cigarette afterwards, it was so damn good. Downright orgasmic. I protested a little when they removed the empty plate, because I wanted to snuggle a little bit with it. I gave it my number, so I sure hope it calls.
The rest of the meal was also good, but nothing could live up to that. It was like my tastebuds were reborn, and it got me cravin’ to do some cookin’.
I do love to cook – I just don’t like to clean up the mess afterwards. I have a hard time convincing the Mr. Sylvia to do it for me. Although he should. Because I am awesome. And he loves me. And because I wear low-cut shirts.
So what can I do to jumpstart my cooking? I’m glad you asked!
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Instead of browsing the tabloids while waiting in line at the grocery store, pick up a “recipe” magazine. I know it’s hard to shy away from Us Weekly and OK! Magazine, when all they do is enlighten us and make our lives better, but you may actually find something you want to make and eat!
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Once you’ve found “THE” recipe, bring it home, and let it collect dust on your countertop for a couple of weeks.
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When you know you should be doing some tidying up, dust the mag off, and study it deeply, especially when the hubs is looking on, wondering why you’re not on your hands and knees like he is worshipping me scrubbing the floor.
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Exclaim ” I am totally going to make ___________!”
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Make your list, don’t forget to add wine, cheese & chocolate to the list, no matter what you are making. Everything tastes better with one or more of the above!
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Rush off to the store, away from the housework, explaining to the hubs that you’ve got to strike the proverbial cooking iron while it is proverbially hot!
- Take your ever-lovin’ time at the store so you can really study the ingredients and pick out the freshest & best produce (read: waste time while the hubs cleans)
- Get home, unload the groceries, ask for a footrub (shopping to put food on the table is also hard work, dear) and pout
- Get your cookin’ on!
- Take pictures, sample the goods, and consume the wine
- Enjoy your creation! and consume the wine
Ok, so maybe this isn’t exactly what YOU will do, but this is what I am going to do this weekend. I am going to attempt to make steamed Thai spring rolls (example recipe here). I love them, so let’s hope they actually turn out decently.
Wish me luck.
(p.s. – is there any meal/dish/skill you are particularly proud of? Would you like to guest-post here and share it with us? If so, send us an email!)
We’re going to experiment with a dish I haven’t had since childhood –stuffed cabbage.
Mostly because we have about 6 huge heads of Savoy cabbage in our garden all of a sudden.
We just experimented with a chicken and zucchini stew because we suddenly had huge zucchinis in our garden (a pattern? why yes!). I need to post that photo on our garden blog, come to think of it….
I have a pretty good recipe for scones – for each scone you want to make, use 1/3 cup whole wheat flour, 1/2 tsp baking powder, i tbsp of butter, ! tbsp brown sugar, and cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice to taste. Add the butter cold and chopped with a knife, then enough water to make a crumbly dough, working it with your fingers. Bake @ 400 degrees for about 12 min. It’s nice because it’s simple and you can replace whole wheat flour with white flour or brown sugar with regular sugar, and add completely different spices; as long as the proportion of flour, fat and sugar is the same you could make them any flavour you wanted!
BadKitty, that’s not a scone! Scones are way simpler than that: self-raising flour, pinch of salt, full cream milk. That’s it. Then serve with a shitload of thickened cream and strawberry jam. And a pot of tea.
I make a mean pesto pasta. Like, ‘I’ve just seen God’ pesto pasta.
I love to cook deceptively simple recipes- the ones that get the reaction of “You must have toiled in the kitchen for hours!” Mmm, nope, just very good at kitchen shortcuts.
The farmer’s market is taking my cooking to the next level, getting into all kinds of veggies, simply prepared.
My crowning glory, though? Baking. Zucchini bread, choco-orange brownies, chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. Glad this summer’s been so cool!
Sylvia, I totally want to have a steamy affair with that appetizer! I wonder if they got the recipe out of the Big Book of Foods That Make Twistie Moan With Delight.
If you’re looking for guest food posts, I could probably have my arm twisted. You may not have noticed over at Manolo for the Big Girl, but they’re kind of a speciality of mine.
Why did someone write exactly what I wrote and used my name with a commercial website attached…? Is that a spam-bot?
Fances, I totally missed it was another person. I just thought you accidently posted twice. I deleted it.